My writing

I don't know about tomorrow
All I got is today
To write my feelings down
On a piece of paper
That soon will get thrown away
But does it look like I care
About what you say
Because I'm expressing what I feel
In every possible way
That I can think of
To make me feel okay
So I'm gonna fly
I'm gonna be free
In my own writing
Don't you see
That I'm gonna be alright
So open up your eyes
Because I don't need your help tonight
Leave me alone
And I'll be just fine
Just read and weep
So you can feel
What I know is real
In my writing.

Untitled

Darkness is closing in on me
As I'd wish for you to see
That I don't belong in this world
Full of happy faces and glee
I cry and cry every night
Hoping for "it" to go away

What is "it?"
What is it that I am afraid of?
And what is it that I need?
I honestly don't know what "it" is.
I'm afraid of the outside world and everybody on it....
And last but not least, I NEED to be alone!!!

With even the wind of a person passing me by,
I get scared.
With even the sight of someone looking at me,
I get frightened.
When I am alone
I feel safe and happy.
Nothing and no one can touch or hurt me
And that's what I want
But I can't have,
Because it's impossible
For people so close to me
To just let me go
So I can be alone
In this thing we call a world.

Untitled

I fight so hard to not be invisible
Or is it that I chose to be
A girl that no one sees
Am I the girl you pass by
And you say hi
Or the one that you pass by
And see right through my eyes
As the days grow longer
And the nights go shorter
I get more and more afraid
Of the outside world
I ask myself these questions
How? and why?
And why is it that I can't fly
Into my imagination anymore
Am I that afraid of myself?
Or is it the people around me?
My actions and words
Don't make sense
I'm falling into unconciousness.

My MesoAmerican City in Uxmal

This very large pyramid called "The House of the Magician" is really interesting to me because of the way it looks. It is a mayan ruin, that is located in Yucatan, Mexico. I would like to visit the pyramid itself because of it's structure, and the fact that it is so beautiful. I would also like to visit it because I would like to climb it, and feel the wind go against my face, and feel happy to just be up there. To feel peaceful without anything bothering me.

Lies and Spies

We live in a surreal world
Full of lies and spies

That break away
And try to steal our lives

We try so hard to make it
But it's so obvious
That all we do is fake it

Day after day
As the night passes by

We have our dreams
That open up our eyes

To see what's really there
And not in our minds

So we wonder why
We live in this world
Full of lies and spies.

Untitled

We go into the world not knowing a single thing.
Then we grow up and we think we know everything.

So many roads and possiblities that we could take,
But we don't know what to make of it.

We ignore everything and everybody
That doesn't believe what we believe is true.

We put thoughts into our head,
And we are neverendingly tantalized by devients,
Who desire the great or no good.

Suicide

Life is never good for me and this is what I wish you'd see.
Just let me end it all for I'll be happy in the end, I'll finally be free.

Free from all the pain and torment and the never ending battle.
No more dealing with the arguments and tears, I'd finally be through with it all.

You just don't seem to understand that by keeping me here, you're making it worse.
If i were dead and gone by now, I'd be happy, I wouldn't have this life, I wouldn't have this curse.

I'm already considering doing this, even without your consent.
I know for sure that once it's all over, my heart will finally be content.

So here I am, just sitting there, on my bed with a knife to my wrist.
Please everyone don't be upset, please don't be pissed.

You just need to know that I love you all, but couldn't handle it anymore.
Ok, here I go, I'm doing this for sure.

You just need to let me go to heaven now, hopefully God will understand and accept this.

Just tell my baby I love him, and I'm sorry that I couldn't give him one last kiss.
Tell everyone I love them, and that I'm sorry that I had to leave so soon and leave them all behind.

But I just needed to end it all and start a new life, so happiness I could find.

These are the last words I will ever be writing down.
I know they are harsh, but don't worry, rest your head, be at ease, don't make a sound.

Expectations

My Top Expectations that I have for myself in life are:

1.To practice what I love to do. (For Example, my singing.)
2.To make others happy, before I make myself happy, because I like to see people smile.
3.To start a business/camp for teens.

My Top Expectations that I have for myself at school are:

1.To come prepared and ready to learn.
2.To help someone who doesn't understand.
3.To use the knowlegde that I learn in school for the future.

My Top Expectations that I have for my fellow students are:

1.To give me respect, and I will give them respect back.
2.To try and not disrupt the class.
3.Take at least of moment of your time to hear what the teacher is saying.

My Top Expectations that I have for my teachers are:

1.To sometimes help me if i don't understand what they are trying to teach me.
2.To give me respect just like I will give them respect back.
3.To listen to what I have to say.